Fix a Heart.

I promise that all of my post wont be so sad. I've just been going through a rough time. Well more than rough but. I really don't know what I can do anymore to just get things out there. This seems to be helping a tad; and at this point; I'll take whatever I can get.

I have to admit; it gets old feeling like shit and sad everyday. I never feel like leaving my room; because of the fear I have for the real world now. The only place I really feel safe is my room. Which completely sucks. I never wanna go to school anymore. I've cut my social life. My life is nothing but school and work, pretty soon just work. I am so unhappy. Its almost makes me sick thinking about it. I just want to be done. Nothing seems to be working anymore.

I'm not suicidal nor do I harm myself; it's all just a mental game to me. Some days I think its all in my head, some days I think its serious and some I just don't think at all. Its crazy horrible and stressful. I just learn to drown myself in music and writing lately to get everything out there.  Yet, its all to myself. Make sense yet? Probably not but that's okay. I'm the only one that needs to understand.

My friend has also got me back into reading, and its helped a little too. It seems to be my only escape from the world. I think what I need to escape my reality is to move away. Even if its only for a month. I need to not be so stressed and just get a fresh start. Maybe come back one day maybe not. It just depends on where life takes me. I would love to move away soon though. I feel in my heart it is the right thing to do.

I'm done complaining for the time being. I'm goona go read somewhere until my night class. Yup, songs good to me.